ON ACCEPTING THE FRENCH IDEA OF GENIUS:

http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2009/11/this-is-what-happy-tastes-like.html

- Related Wreckage: Wrecktopia of Cornucopias

Apparently McDonald's is closed today. Thanksgiving McNuggetini: DENIED.

(Previously.)

Forgot to mention yesterday that the alarm clock in our room is also an iPod dock and it's surprising how much I like it. Not like we need more technology. But it's fun.

Slept in today, then T worked on math and I did some yoga on our little patio. It's very cute: open air, looking out over the desert, just a perfect view of saguaros, mesquite, mountains. We saw some quails just running around right there in front of us. Eventually, we went on to...Thanksgiving brunch.

This place is well known for their amazing buffet brunches, and this thing was sick impressive, spread out over a couple rooms, including outside. There was a carving station. There was a table full of traditional Thanksgiving foods. There was a table full of bagels and lox. There was a raw bar. There was an omelet station. There was a table of fruit and cheese and a table of breads and other breakfast stuff. There was a table of salads. The dessert table was about twenty feet long. I had salmon and sweet potato pie and maybe four other kinds of potatoes and wild rice and fry bread and cranberry compote and all kinds of fruit out-of-season and a cheese blintz and corn on the cob and strawberry-rhubarb tarts and apple pie and chocolate covered strawberries and some other stuff that wasn't as memorable.

It's a little disappointing to have Thanksgiving without a lot of family around, although it's nice to be alone with T and not have to worry about other people's problems.

After our feast, we had to digest. Mailed the complementary postcards and checked out some enormous koi in the pond. Then T did more math while I talked to my mom, did some web stuff, and wrote more of my blasphemous story.

Eventually, we got out to hike Ventana Canyon. Even though it's right next to Sabino Canyon, where we hike pretty often, it seems quite different. The landscape is thicker and lusher. You feel farther from civilization. Of course, we forgot the camera. But trust me. It's incredibly beautiful.

Now I'm just waiting for the boy to get his mojo back so we can go swimming before the sun sets. After the sun sets, the hot tub will still be good, but I'm not sure how I'll feel about the pool. It's heated, but it's not that hot.

Anyway, hell yeah, there's a lot to be thankful for.

I think I've almost managed to get the DNA Lounge popup webcast window to resize the video when you resize the window. (Unsurprisingly, the only way that worked portably was to use tables.) Does it work for you? This seems to resize properly in both Firefox and Safari. It mostly works in Opera: it resizes properly, but there's a scrollbar and the bottom text is off the bottom of the screen. I'm not sure how to fix that.

What does it do in IE? Does the video resize, and is there a green box around it?

Previously.

DNA Lounge update, wherein the War on Fun gets some more press.

http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2009/11/in-which-happy-tanks-should-be-given.html

My dear Wreckies, there are so many ways I could wish you a happy Thanksgiving today.

I could forget how it's spelled:


If you work in communications, I could get you a poo turkey and misspell your department name:


I could put a military spin on things:


I could try to avoid the spelling hazards in "thanksgiving" by skipping the word all together:

I could remind you of the dangers of overeating:


Oh! Or here's an idea: I could avoid actual decorating all together, and use a mound of Dollar Store flotsam chucked in your cake's general direction to convey the appropriate sentiment:


Or, I could simply assault you with a visage of such horror that nightmares of it may well plague you for the rest of your natural-born life:



Theresa, Michelle H., Becky O., Denise M., Mike A., Chris O., & Vicky J., fingers crossed that you each get a "happy tank" today.


- Related Wreckage: Teasers for the Coming Seasons

• 22:40 @Heathencomics Luke McDonnell? #

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Here I am, celebrating with the swell! We left more or less on schedule, drove up to the foothills and checked into our fabulous room. It's very comfortable. Then we had a tiny hike in the desert, up to the waterfall, which is a real waterfall 4 months of the year and an artificial waterfall the rest of the time. It's still pretty.

Then we had a light supper, a little rest, and went out to the Jacuzzi. They have stargazing on Wednesday nights, and we happened to just catch that, so we got to see some star clusters, including the Pleiades, Jupiter and three of its moons, and a few different views of the moon. By that time, we were ready for the hot tub, since we weren't really dressed for standing around outside in the mountains in the winter.

So far so good :)

Aaaah

Please forgive me, I'm just now making the foray into honest-to-god perving on Dan Radcliffe.

But JAYSUS.

All I want to do is follow that treasure trail...

DNA Lounge update, wherein this battle station is now fully operational.

Mussolini's 'brain and blood for sale on internet'

The granddaughter of Italy's fascist dictator Benito Mussolini has said that blood and parts of his brain have been stolen to sell on the internet. Alessandra Mussolini, a former showgirl turned MP, said she immediately informed the police when she found out.

The listing, on auction site Ebay, reportedly showed images of a wooden container and ampoules of blood. The initial price requested for the material was $22,000.

The bank fucking LIED to me. There's no contract. Now they're taking the house to auction. Theoretically, I could get it for a lot less. Or I could not get it at all. ASSHOLES. Way to start my fabulous vacation :( Cannot deal.

Too bad I deleted my parental advisory icon. I'll say it again:

http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2009/11/really-i-mean-really-yes-more-turkey.html

Apparently my top "20" ways to wreck a turkey cake just weren't enough for you guys. I know this because some of you are:

a) complaining that the past two days' Wrecks don't technically add up to 20, and

fork) still sending in a truly dizzying array of Wreckage that simply must be shared.

These include gems like...





Some of you requested more non-cupcake-cake Turkey Wrecks, though. Nooo problem.

[rapid blinking]

Uh...How do you feel about cupcake Turkey Wrecks?

Well, the *turkey* looks pretty good, but that green pterodactyls attacking him could use a little work.

And lastly, here's a foul fowl that could give the Coiled Crap Hound a run for its money:


Jen D., Jaime H., Jen L., Amanda S., Gloria C., Jen P., Bonnie L., & Elaine M., don't look at me like that; I'm sure there's chocolate sherbert* somewhere.

- Related Wreckage: And Now, a Word from Your Thanksgiving Turkey Cakes

* Also spelled "sherbet", "shebert" and "shrbrt".

• 16:09 @christopher_j_r Agree w/the point, if not how it was discussed by Bryant. He takes liberties with James' comments for his own purposes. #

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Last night I decided to make quiche for dinner. Usually, I make 2 quiches, one interesting one full of vegetables, and one boring one for people who can't eat vegetables. After beginning my preparations, when it was too late to go shopping or add another element to the meal, I realized I only had one pre-made crust.

OK. You can make a kind of crustless quiche--a custard--with more liquid and less egg than a quiche. Ergo, it needs to cook longer. Also, the pie pan needs to rest in a water bath in the oven (this keeps it from sticking to the dish). No problem.

The custard contained mushrooms, asparagus, and garlic, and I put it in the oven first, on the top rack; counter to what you'd expect, the top rack in this oven is cooler than the bottom one. My oven is 50 years old; it is very fucked up. The thermostat needs to be replaced. It heats unevenly, and the temperature creeps up up up, no matter where you set it. The custard is supposed to cook at a lower temperature than the quiche, but given the unreliability of the temperature gauge, this was a moot point. I assembled the quiche (tuna and parsley) and put it on the bottom rack. So far so good.

Thirty minutes later, the quiche seemed done, and the custard seemed almost done. Since the quiche needs to set for 10 minutes, that was OK. After removing it from the oven, I decided to shift the custard to the bottom rack so it would cook faster. So far so good. And then...

Somehow, while getting a grip on the custard (the water bath makes this tricky), I burned the back of my hand and let go of the custard. It slid down the top rack onto the bottom rack, from the bottom rack to the oven door, across the oven door and over the butcher's block...landing directly INSIDE the quiche (except for the uncooked middle bit, which continued to travel across the butcher's block and onto the flowers T gave me for my birthday). Mr. Custard's wild ride. Remarkably, the glass dish that held the water bath did not shatter into a million pieces.

After T ascertained that I was not dead and applied fresh aloe to my second degree burn, I reassembled what was left of both dishes and popped them back in the oven. Despite the water bath spilling into both pie tins, dinner was delicious.

So that was my adventure in extreme cooking. The Bear suggests a closed-circuit camera in the kitchen could turn me into a YouTube superstar :P

Regarding the house: after I gave up all hope, the bank agreed to sell me this house.



I thought they had already agreed, but as you know, they then demanded more money and ceased contact after I acquiesced. Well apparently now they are agreeing to my meager demand (they turn on the utilities) and claim they will provide a contract on Friday, but they want a 3-day inspection. Saturday through Monday. On a holiday weekend. My realtor is trying to find someone who will do an inspection on a holiday weekend. Ha. If she can't she will insist the inspection period start on Monday. Man, banks SUCK. They are so clearly not interested in selling foreclosed homes, based on my experience.

Ug. I'm afraid about what the inspection will reveal. Due to the bank's assholery, I will have thousands of dollars less to work with than anticipated. If there are more than 10k worth of problems, I might have to START AGAIN :(



Outdoor fireplace and built-in barbecue grill!



Pool needs to be replastered. Dragon needs to do more utkatasana.

If this actually goes through they want to close December 7! But I'm still not holding my breath.

http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2009/11/talkin-turkey-tuesday-too.html

We're continuing to count down (up?) the top 20 ways to wreck a turkey cake. Hold on to your giblets, folks, 'cuz this is gettin' gooood.

11. By confusing turkeys with bank-robbing peacocks:


H. By plumbing the depths of the phrase "intestinal fortitude":


Spoon. By anthropomorphizing a mushroom cloud:

XVI: By confusing "turkey" with "demon snuffleupagus...from Rio":


17. Or by confusing it with the Magnificent Bagel-Nosed Falcon of Uganda:


And lastly...

20. By putting an Indian headdress on Cthulhu:


Nicole D., Marcy P., Sarah T., Diane M., Lindsay H., Michelle G., & Kristen R., I'm starting to forget what a turkey even looks like. I guess that means I'm ready to start decorating!

- Related Wreckage: Turkeys

NOTE: Hey, Floridians! John and I will be at the Orlando Public Library Saturday, Dec. 12th, at 2PM. Here's your chance to stock up on signed copies of Cake Wrecks, aka "the perfect stocking stuffer." ;) Go here for details, and to RSVP.