ON ACCEPTING THE FRENCH IDEA OF GENIUS:

I been gone. Now I am here, in sunny overcast and muggy (and suspicously pinesol scented) Aiken. Where have I been, you may ask? Well, I was in the magically cold land of Ohio...running up and down flights of magically annoying stairs with boxes of nostalgia. Translation: I were helpsin my momma with a garage sale while poppy was out of town. The garage sale was a rousing semi-success of sorts. Since the goal was to get rid of crap, we did just that. No one really made too much money, but people bought. People were happy and pleased (except for Grandma, who was "don't sell that!" and "I'll buy that" and "Don't just give things away"...she was unpleasant and old, but I did threaten to hit her cat with a rock...so, I'm unpleasant too); a few bucks were made, and the people at Volunteers of America had a lot of donations when it started to rain. Stupid rain. I had fun. I like big projects, and I like to visit my family. I miss them. Why I gotta be so far away?

Here are some highlights:

1. Held a brand new baby with brand new baby smell.
2. Got to visit my aunt and cousins in So. Ohio for a minute.
3. Nice long drives through mountains allow me to smile and think...and SING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS (p.s. thanks to vicki for spoiling me with tapes)
4. I only fell down the steps once (and possibly broke some little bone in my foot which still hurts), my brother only text messaged my sister to tell her that I fell, and only two people (bob and boyfriend) laughed uproariously when they found out.  Dicks!
5. I got punched in the boob by a toddler.
6. I got shoved off the bed by a toddler.
7. I scared the crap out of a toddler and laughed about it. (so did his momma)
8. I got new tires, despite not wanting new tires (thank yous to daddy)
9. I ate a lot of bad food (my family does not, it seems, share my craving for vegitables)
10. I got to see the Ohio State Fair from a distance on the day before it opened, and I whined...I WANT TO SEE THE BUTTER COW!
11. I read the second and third Twilight book, WHICH I STILL HATE because that is the most boring fucking vampire I have ever read about in my entire life of reading about vampires (which is significant given my reading tendencies). I hate Bella and think that she will be the cause of a lot of distorted views towards gender and sexuality among adolescents (goddamn is she boring)...but...but...(shhhhhh) but...I fucking love Jacob! Goddamn I love a werewolf no matter how bad the book, it seems! I don't even want to read the last one, because I KNOW what happens...even without spoilers I know what's going to happen. It's so obvious that the only character I like will become a pedophile...so you twilight geeks, I already know. I ALREADY KNOW.
12. I also read a really bad book called "Book of Shadows" (soooo badly written and stupid)  and a very good book called "Jesus Christ on the Road to Cana" by ...MOTHERFUCKING ANNE FUCKING RICE who can make the bible fucking hot! HOT! Anne Rice can make the Bible hot and Stephenie (ZOMG! who the fuck told her to spell her name like that says "mandie"...heh, I'm a dick...) Meyers can't even make a vampire hot. SIGNS OF THE APOCOLYPSE!!! Signs, my friends!
13. There are some things I am forgetting...forgive me.

So, I'm home now. Home to delicious tomato sandwiches, and my own pillow, and my very demanding dog who missed me so. And home to my Roy who is now screaming from the other room that I'm ignoring him...ah, home. Sticky, pinesol scented home.

(I feel like I've been asleep for a week and a half.)

I have this thing with werewolves,japanese boys, clowns, people, bad attitudes, school, students, teaching, horror movies, imaginary friends, whining, plants, manga/anime, cuddling, dogs, cats, fashion, poetry, Ayn Rand and Chuck Palinhuick, douchebags, poverty...the list could go on and on, and does. What thing? It's complicated.
Shogafucknai! Or, "there's fuck-nothing either one of us can do about it"...so, there's that too.

These questions...I guess they solve the writers block. (Oh, who needs a writing laxative?)