ON ACCEPTING THE FRENCH IDEA OF GENIUS:

1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
Yummy coffee

2.Where was your profile picture taken?
Office

3.Can you play Guitar Hero?
Fuck yeah!

4.Name someone who made you laugh today?
Karl, by asking me if Amazon made ridiculous recommendations for me. I believe that Amazon thinks I’m a 42 year old male pedophile and a shut in.


5.How late did you stay up last night and why?
Project Runway...later than I should.

6.If you could move somewhere else, would you?
Yes. I like our rental house, but I want something that is just ours. I do love it in SC, though it is strange to suddenly be south of Appalachia when I’ve lived so much of my life north of it.

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
Yes. But more interestingly, I have also spent many Fourths of Julys in the cemetery, watching the fireworks above the Columbus Skyline from about 20 miles away.

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you?
Dave...in the extra room.

9. Do you believe ex's can be friends?
It would depend on the ex. In fact, I feel a bit sad that Andy and I aren’t friends. He sort of disappeared. I occasionally try to find him on the interweb, but to no avail.

10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper?
Prunes

11. When was the last time you cried really hard?
I get the crazies. I cry for no reason.

12. Who took your profile picture?
huh?

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of?
Bruce

14. Was yesterday better than the day before yesterday?
It never is...distance is a balm.

15. Can you live a day without TV?
Why?

16. Are you upset about anything?
Usually.

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
Absolutely...unless they aren’t.

18. Are you a bad influence?
Absolutely.

19. Night out or night in?
It depends on the night, but I am a homebody.

20. What items could you not go without during the day?
Is sleep an item?

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
I can’t remember. No one for a long time.

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say?
I’m going to do hotmail instead of inbox, so...”We’ve received Coraline.”

23. How do you feel about your life right now?
I need a nap.

24. Do you hate anyone?
Me, no. Why?

25. If we were to look in your face book in box, what would we find?
Stuff I’ve been ignoring.

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?
Absolutely. I am clean as a whistle. What does that phrase mean though? I understand wanting a whistle to be clean, but it still seems like a strange idiom. Plus, what’s the adverse? I’m dirty as a whistle shoved up a pig’s butt? I hope not.

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
Creepy. Perfect people are made of robot parts. I don’t have a single robot part.

28. What song is stuck in your head?
“Can you practice what you preach, can you turn the other cheek.” Where is the LOVE?

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be?
Someone who I can take down in a fight to the death. Someone who isn’t a clown. Someone I don’t mind giving me the uncle feely hands.

30.Wanna have grandkids by the time your 50?
God, no. If I had a kid right now and wanted grand kids at 50 then my children would be teenage parents...not cool.

31. Name something you have to do tomorrow?
Grade stuff. Sleep in. Make foods.

32. Do you think too much or too little?
I am an agonizer, and a very small animal. TURN OFF BRAIN!!

33. Do you smile a lot?
Yes. I also laugh a lot. I didn’t realize how much I laugh in comparison to other people until recently. Some of my students say they can recognize my laugh from down the hallway. Does that mean I have a weird laugh? Roy says “That is not the laugh of a nun, it is the laugh of a whore.” So, YES. I smile a lot, and I laugh like a whore...maybe even a crack whore.

( Snipity Clippity, Clippin my mem. )

Amanda
Worthy of love : Latin


You are a charismatic individual with a dynamic and attractive personality. Probably not known for your caution or patience you are a risk taker who hates to be restricted in any way. Freedom is very important to you. Your thinking and intuition is strong and you have a talent for communication. You enjoy the sensual and material pleasures of life and with the application of care and wisdom you can achieve wonderful worldly success.



That's freaking close, init? I want my success, now! (see, no patience)

You scored as Severus Snape. Well you're a tricky one aren't you? Nobody quite has you figured out and you'd probably prefer it stayed that way. That said you are a formidable force by anyone's reckoning, but there is certainly more to you than a frosty exterior and a bitter temper. </td> Severus Snape 90% Ginny Weasley 85% Ron Weasley 80% Harry Potter 80% Remus Lupin 80% Albus Dumbledore 75% Sirius Black 65% Hermione Granger 60% Draco Malfoy 55% Lord Voldemort 55% Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Satanism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Satanism! Before you scream, do a bit of research on it. To be a Satanist, you don't actually have to believe in Satan. Satanism generally focuses upon the spiritual advancement of the self, rather than upon submission to a deity or a set of moral codes. Do some research if you immediately think of the satanic cult stereotype. Your beliefs may also resemble those of earth-based religions such as paganism. </td> Satanism 75% Buddhism 71% Paganism 71% agnosticism 67% Hinduism 50% Islam 46% Christianity 42% Judaism 38% atheism 29% Which religion is the right one for you? (new version) created with QuizFarm.com

1. If I were a fruit I would be? A navel orange, because it has a belly button, and so do I. OR ...well, that's too obvious.

2. My favorite smell is: honeysuckle

3. The most recent thing that made me want to throw up? Dirty dish smell...okay, it's hot, and we had pasta, and it got all rank.

4. If you could have any animal as a pet? A herd of Bruce to pull a tiny, tiny wagon.

5. Best way to die? Drowning, and then being eaten by sharks aftewards.

6. Worst way to die? On the toilet, thank you.

7. Most embarassing thing about you? My feet are really stinky. (Ask Rabbit)

8. Your secret identity? It's still a secret.

9. Your former incarnation? A gay stable boy who got kicked in the head by a horse before ever having "relations" with the hot guy who worked in the field, but it's cool, because that guy had the pox anyways.

10. What's your secret talent? The double jointed bizness.

11. What did you want to be when you grew up? Indiana Jones/Classical Archeologist.

12. What sport would you most like to excel at? Rugby, fucking bad asses!

13. If you could have any job, what would it be? I don't want a job.

14. If you won the lottery what's the first thing you'd buy?
A big house on a big chunk of land, near a big body of water, with room for all of my friends.

15. What's your biggest vice? Diet Coke.

A - Age you lost your virginity? - 15, I'm dirty.
B - Band listening to right now? - I'd like to be listening to The Decemberists.
C - Dream car? -1937 Merc, pale yellow, maneater grill, sombrero hubcaps...or
late 60s mopar muscle, I'm not picky...anything in mint condition and LOUD...or
I could go on forever kids.
D - Dads name? - Bob
E - Easiest person to make laugh? -Robby D
F - Food you miss most? - Block's Bagels
G - Any encounters with ghosts? - Ghost Cat!
H - Person most hated at the moment?- Financial aid...All of them!
I - Interesting unknown fact about yourself? - I have three broken toes which will never be fixed.
J - The first letter of the last person who broke your heart?-I plead the fifth.
K - Kissing with eyes opened or closed? - closed, open, who cares!
L - Last time you did LSD? - I have never done LSD.
M - Most memorable moment you can think of in a minute?-the time I got drunk off of half a wine cooler ( I was 12) and me and my cousin saran wrapped a guy from her school's car, and we both laughed so hard we nearly peed.
N - Nicknames? -Mo, Am, Manders, Mandie Pandie sweeter than candy, MandieMo, Moo moo, nugget, Handy Mandie, Moo Mae, Mandie Rae, Manda Shell, Shelly, Mae Mae, Sissy (shaddap), bitch (oh, wait), Amanders, ...I gots lots
O - What's the most valued possession? - my friends and family (awwwhhh...shucks!)
P - Poison of choice? - Tequila
Q - The last quote you heard: "I'm horny 24-7"
R - What are you allergic to? - What am I NOT allergic to?
S - Song you sang last? - The theme song from Gravitation. But only the parts I know. (I'm sad.)
T - Time you woke up? - 8:45
U - Fav. pair of underwear? - My supergirl unds.
V - Vegetable you hate most? - Lima Beans
W - What are you the most afraid of? - clowns, spiders.
X - X-rated love life? - Yes. Thanks.
Y - Year you were born? - 1975
Z - Zodiac sign? - Taurus

Gay Bear


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

47286 words Congratulations! You scored 142!

You scored as knowing approximately 47286 words and word meanings. This officially qualifies you as "well read."

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 73% on words known

Link: The How Many Words do You Know Test written by 476herschel on Ok Cupid

You Are Reverse Pocky

Your attitude: rebellious and clever Non-conformist, but curiously a trendsetter With you, up is down... and it's a wild ride!

You Know You're From Michigan When...

You define summer as three months of bad sledding. You think Alkaline batteries were named for a Tiger outfielder. You can identify an Ohio accent. Your idea of a seven-course meal is a six pack and a bucket of smelt. Owning a Japanese car is a hanging offense in your hometown. You know how to play (and pronounce) Euchre. The Big Mac is something that you drive across. You believe that "down south" means Toledo. You bake with soda and drink pop. You drive 75 on the highway and you pass on the right. Your Little League baseball game was snowed out. You learned how to drive a boat before you learned how to ride a bike. You know how to pronounce "Mackinac". The word "thumb" has a geographical rather than an anatomical significance. You have experienced frostbite and sunburn in the same week. You expect Vernor's when you order ginger ale. You know that Kalamazoo not only exists, but that it isn't far from Hell. Your favorite holidays are Christmas, Thanksgiving, the opening of deer season and Devil's Night. Your snowmobile, lawn mower and fishing boat all have big block Chevy engines. At least one person in your family disowns you for the week of the Michigan/Michigan State football game. You know what a millage is. Traveling coast to coast means driving from Port Huron to Muskegon. Half the change in your pocket is Canadian, eh. You show people where you grew up by pointing to a spot on your left hand. You know what a "Yooper" is. Your car rusts out before you need the brakes done Half the people you know say they are from Detroit... yet you don't personally know anyone who actually lives in Detroit "Up North" means north of Clare. You know what a pastie is. You occasionally cheer "Go Lions- and take the Tigers with you." Snow tires come standard on all your cars. At least 25% of your relatives work for the auto industry. You don't understand what the big deal about Chicago is. Octopus and hockey go together as naturally as hot dogs and baseball. You know more about chill factors and lake effect than you'd EVER like to know! Your snowblower has more miles on it than your car. Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout. When giving directions, you refer to "A Michigan Left." You know when it has rained because of the smell of worms. You never watch the Weather Channel - you can just assume they're wrong. The snowmen you make in your front yard actually freeze. Solid. The snow freezes so hard that you can actually walk across it and not break it or leave any marks. All your shoes are called "tennis shoes", even though no one here plays tennis anyway. Your major school field trip includes camping and cross-country skiing. Half your friends have a perfect sledding hill right in their own backyard. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Michigan.

You Know You're From Ohio When...

You don't think of Florida first when someone mentions Miami. You snicker when someone's from Tiffin, because you think of the State Hospital. You think Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange! You've heard of 3.2% beer. Schools close for the state basketball tournament. You're proud of your state fair, but would rather go to Cedar Point. You live less than 30 miles from some college or university. You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candy ones. "Toward the lake" means "north" and "toward the river" means "south." You've heard of the Great Nickel Beer Night Riot. You know if other Ohioians are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths. You root for a college team though you've never taken a class there. You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine, and Tuscarawas You always visit more than two amusement parks in one summer. You know that Serpent Mounds were not made by snakes. You know what game they're playing when the Mud Hens take on the Clippers. Vacation" means spending a day at Cedar Point or King's Island. Down south to you means Kentucky. You thought that the Michael Stanley Band was the most popular band in the country. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Ohio.

And since I have nothing in particular to talk about, I thought I'd just let the quizzes serve as writing prompts.

The info below isn't really surprising:

Your Seduction Style: The Dandy

You're a non-traditionalist, not limited by gender roles or expectations. Your sexuality is more fluid than that - and you defy labels or categories. It's hard to pin you down, and that's what's fascinating about you. You have the psychology of both a male and a female, and you can relate to anyone.

A dandy or a fop? Could go either way really. Look at me defying labels with my label defyingness. That really isn't true. The truth is that my seduction style is anti-seductive. I am a hopeless unromantic. Love is cheezy, pick-uplines are cheezier (15% real cheddar, that's why the "z"), and all of it is hilarious. Honesty is more charming than crap, and folk respond pretty well to it (most of the time). Here's a good pickup line: "Nice ass! Wanna hump?" HA! Oh, I'm sad really. (I'm sure it works...ask me how I know.)

I'm sleepy now, or I'd try to say something GENIUS about this. Eh.

Your Inner European is French!

Smart and sophisticated. You have the best of everything - at least, *you* think so.

Well, obviously. I like coffee, poetry, meaningless discussions of philosophy, plus I'm uber keen on art. Viva la crap! This would be as good a place as any to publicize my position on the French, and their stunning idea of Genius.

THE FRENCH IDEA OF GENIUS (as I see it)

Is extremely important, yet extremely simple, let's look at is as a logical syllogism: IF I do not understand this thing I see/hear/read/taste, THEN it follows necessarily that I am not clever enough to understand this thing I see/hear/read/taste. If I am not clever enough to understand it, THEN it must be smarter than I am. IF few people understand it, THEN it must be smarter than most people. IF something is so smart that most people cannot understand it, THEN it must be genius. THEREFORE...IF I do not understand the things I see/hear/read/taste, THEN those things must be GENIUS!!!

This is why the French were so keen on accepting things like Truffles (Which I am convinced are a form of moldy pig booger...tasty yes, but who thought to eat that?!!), Surrealism, Abstract Expressionism, Cubism, Jean Cocteau's Films, Jerry Lewis, Berets, Baudelaire and Rimbaud, Gertrude and Alice, Pet Monkeys, Syphillis as fashion accessory, the Merkin, Pompadors and Perrier (admittedly some of these things are genius, others are merely ridiculous...I leave you to decide which). Mon Dieu! C'est vachement stupide, vraiment!

Apparently in France one can do absurd and disturbing things, and the greater the level of incomprehensibility of those things...the closer one is to pure unadulterated brilliance! Any day now, I'll be receiving a letter from the French government inviting me to be their poster child for the new millinium, and I will spend my days as mascot surrounded by small dogs of various hues, and will roll my naked body in finger paints, then over butcher paper and folk will line up to buy my buttprints, and spout nonsense like the gargoyles of Notre Dame spout water, and wearing only one of those cheese hats from Green Bay (dyed vermillion and covered with bridal cake toppers), and shoes made out of halved pineapple and fat shoelaces, out to the gardens of Versaille, where I will ceremoniously deficate in the self same spot where Marie Antoinette once pinched one off before her beheading, only I will do so surrounded by can can dancers and elvi in flaming jumpsuits who are singing the Aria from Carmen backwards beneath the light of fifty thousand pink glowlights held in the teeth of fifty thousand green parrots who will be released into the air by twelves small girls dressed like madeline from giant wicker sculptures of cell phones...and they will think I am absofuckinlutly genius.

Perrier smells like rotten eggs. Deny it! You can't.

Turns out that other people, nicer people (J-drive), get to be superman. So, my theory has a flaw...Roy is spiderman, and I am his venom (that's right, a symbiote motherfucker). These tests are pointlessly stupid, so what's the draw? I hate tests in school, but will stay up late answering ridiculous questions concocted by half-literate im junkies. OOoohh, I want my inner demons spelled out and analysed by a fifteen year old boy who is wasting time creating a quiz on a computer matchmaking site before Aqua Teen comes on at midnight. And then I think it's fun to share my "sexy results" with the two people who actually read this...hello neighbors! It's kind of like airing out period-stained undies on the communial clothesline...
private/public/whatever, they've gotta get clean somehow. DIRTY DIRTY...ha ha.

So, yes, a waste of time, and a beautiful public display of unmentionables. What a marvel, this internet dealie.
I rant but...
Dear pals,
please find below the results of my "Swearing Test" Apparently, I have a fucking dirty mouth! This too is no surprise...what's surprising is that other people don't. I'm shocked into stupor.

Genius Fucker You scored 28 relevance and 25 creativity!

You are a connoiseur of bad language. Congratulations, Fuckball! Not only do you swear when appropriate (and inappropriate), you are colorful with your cocksucking concoctions. Bravo! Now go out there and continue to make the world your bitch by peppering those stuckup motherfuckers with words and phrases that make the hair on their asses curl up. And if they don't like it...well, fuck'em.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on relevance You scored higher than 98% on creativity

Link: The Swear Word Usage Test written by nastyhabits on OkCupid Online Dating

Do notice that Roy has 99 superhero points, whereas I have like 12 or something (because I am actually pretty evil). Also, Roy and I answered the same questions, often answering completely differently (apparently Roy is a super hero who gets laid a lot...who knew?), but still got the same results. That's crazy!

I want to be Gambit!

Spiderman Congratulations! You scored a super 52%!

You're hotter than, well, hot-cakes! You've got a fan base bigger than Pam & Tommy, and to tell the truth, you actually don't mind the super-hero gig. Most of the time, anyway. Everyone seems to love their fun, friendly and courageous hero as you swoop in to save the day, time and time again! Unfortunately, swooping and day-saving doesn't help pay the rent, and you're not exactly the "hero-for-hire" type either. Hey, at least you can play down the whole life saving, self sacrificing gig with some neat lil' punchlines and remarks! Juggling both egos becomes a strain at times and whilst you want to help everyone, you're also in search of "me time", often finding yourself having to make constant personal sacrifices in order to protect those around you. Don't fret though! At the end of the day you'll find yourself with the support from either those you rescue or perhaps a close friend or loved one who'll get you by, reminding you of how cool you look in spandex.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on Heropoints

Link: The Which SUPER HERO are you Test written by crayzee69 on Ok Cupid

I wanted to be like Fleetermaus or something. Everybody wants to be spiderman.

Dammit

Spiderman Congratulations! You scored a super 54%!

You're hotter than, well, hot-cakes! You've got a fan base bigger than Pam & Tommy, and to tell the truth, you actually don't mind the super-hero gig. Most of the time, anyway. Everyone seems to love their fun, friendly and courageous hero as you swoop in to save the day, time and time again! Unfortunately, swooping and day-saving doesn't help pay the rent, and you're not exactly the "hero-for-hire" type either. Hey, at least you can play down the whole life saving, self sacrificing gig with some neat lil' punchlines and remarks! Juggling both egos becomes a strain at times and whilst you want to help everyone, you're also in search of "me time", often finding yourself having to make constant personal sacrifices in order to protect those around you. Don't fret though! At the end of the day you'll find yourself with the support from either those you rescue or perhaps a close friend or loved one who'll get you by, reminding you of how cool you look in spandex.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 16% on Heropoints

Link: The Which SUPER HERO are you Test written by crayzee69 on Ok Cupid

Ck out my shite! Snickity. God I'm a geek.



Sorceror
You scored 30 Holy, 38 Tactful, 70 Natural, and 65 Arcane!
If you ever take the time to explore your potential you will have one of the greatest magical reservoirs at your fingertips. You interact with the world using your keen intuition, though often you find yourself to be unable to adapt to situations that you haven't handled before. You can be reckless, and I would translate this into real world advice with the caution not to play with fire... ever. Of course, given that you're in a world where monsters are coming for ya, go for it... just not near me. Oh, and I don't care how good you are at it, don't ever summon anything... you'll probably muck it up and end up unleasing a daemon or something... and no, you probably can't take one.




My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 38% on Godliness

You scored higher than 14% on Tact

You scored higher than 26% on Harmony

You scored higher than 82% on Arcane


If you liked my test, send it to your friends!
The Which D & D Class am I Test
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=5608681196346144881