Oh, Walwood Hall, you maze of shifting crapola and funny smells! (That's like an invocation to the muse.) Why must the soda machine be in the scariest basement ever created? Here is my journey:
We begin in my cube, which I have plastered with pictures of folk I love, toys, and, of course, anime boys kissing other anime boys (stop judging, dang). I sneak past Kevin's office door, looking like I have some place very important to be (like the copy room), and head towards the very posh lobby of the Graduate College (we have a lovely worn leather sofa and some comfy chairs), but before I reach the comfy chairs I make a right, past the copy room, down a narrow aisle between some cubes and into the fabulous break room (which smells of burnt coffee and curry...since I am a smell oriented person, be ready for smell descriptions), which is not fabulous but who cares because I don't take breaks anyway (except for LJ update breaks, like this one); the break room does have one interesting feature, the windows, which are huge, swing open onto the roof (I will have to play out there one day). So, throught the breakroom and it's many smells of old curry, burnt shitty coffee and some soured smell which I will call spoiled yogurt, yes, spoiled yogurt, around a corner and then another corner, and then down a short ramp that leads towards "Public Affairs and Administration" (yes that's a degree program...not quite sure what they do, but no one is ever in the office). Here is where the candlewax smell begins to blend with the curry/food smell, it is quite pungent really...quick, now a left, right, scamper down a very narrow hallway with nothing but windows on one side, and another left, then the hallway opens up to, dah da da, "Cistertian Studies" (I had to look that one up too, don't feel bad. The Cistertian monks (nuns too) were a sect of the Carolignian Monks (see "The Order" with Heath Ledger) who produced a large quantity of Illuminated Manuscripts. There are still 8 orders of Cisterians in the United States, most of the Monistaries/Convents are self sufficent because they run farms. They do not take a "vow" of silence, but do maintain silence unless speaking is necessary. The Cistertian studies dept at WMU is the only department in America devoted to the studies of Cistertians, and produces the BEST (whatever that is) journal on Cistertian findings in the world.) where we find the freaky elevator (going down?). The freaky elevator is carpeted, has a wastebasket (why?) and both front and back doors. I have never seen anyone else on the freaky elevator (either coming or going) unless I have brought them with me. I highly suspect that no one but me uses the freaky elevator unless it's an emergency. So, I'm on the 2nd floor, the soda machine is on the ground floor...this is the point that, if I am with myself I take a deep breath as the elevator doors clothes, if I am with someone else I say..."Ooooh, you are gonna so love this!" (right Rabbit?), and I push the button for the ground floor. Shake, shake, shake, it stops at the ground floor, which is somehow different from the first floor and first floor reverse, and the back doors open to a landing with nothing but plain yellow brick wall. Now I look around cautiously, why is it so quiet? (Although if I ever actually heard a noise I would freak...actually, a few days ago I had the feeling that something was going to happen and as I was walking to the soda machine I heard voices, it turns out someone was getting a soda, but I was scared nonetheless). What is that smell? Candlewax? Red licorice? Cleaner? Onions? Something dead? (all of the above for some reason.) Okay, out of the elevator, and turn right, there are stairs up to The Medieval Institute straight ahead (nerd city) and to the left 8 stairs that go down to the creepiest hallway ever made. (Think boiler room in "Nightmare on Elm Street," think Romania in winter, think cold war patched up bunker, think any minute an alarm will ring and we will be attacked, think someone is breathing behind that door, think no one can hear you here if you have a problem) The walls are smooth yellow ceramic brick and the hallway (four feet wide) is littered with broken furniture. The floor, which was ceramic tile, is patched in long strips with rough cement. Right, Left, past the empty room with no door, it contains only a light table and a microwave, right, now the long hallway, at least 40 or 50 feet, the ceilings are too high (15 feet?) the hallway is too narrow (4 feet) and there is only one door (Women's Restroom...as IF!!). Five to six feet above the floor (near head height) utilities are stretched haphazardly (wires dangle, pipes turn in and out of view, florescent lights hum and flicker), and every 10 feet there is a space in the yellow brick wall covered by rusty grates that are held in with stripped wire and/or duct tape, the space is filled with wires or pipes (one of them steams a bit...very unpleasant) or (the scariest yet) nothing but crawlspace. The long hall ends in a T, blank wall ahead, Utility room to the right, and off to the left? The Cages. Huge fence cages right up to the ceiling with swinging doors and padlocks. Each cage full of old record boxes, damp, moldy papers, and fun new smells (cardboard, the red licorice smell, mudpuddle, dust, old book). Now you have a choice, go through the cage room to the soda machine (which is at the other end), or down the "rat trap hallway" and to the soda machine. I choose rat traps. Someone could be in the cage room. Okay, past more cast off furniture and carpet rolls, past the sticky rat traps that say "Do not Move: Rose Extermination" and through the doorless door on the right. The cages are behind you, and there is the Coke Machine!!! Oh, glory, glory coke machine! (It's like the garden at the end of purgatory.) How did I ever find you, because most people don't know you are there Blessed Coke machine. I love you, gimme a diet coke please!!!??? So, now I have to do the whole thing backwards. Well, maybe it's not a very good story, but it could be. And to be honest, I would totally like to get it on down there...fear is sexy.
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amanderpanderer's journal
smug and cupholdery
bored
Girli Lama
sleepy
potentially productive??
hot
drained
fight the petty bourgoise
is that a windmill?